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Quappchatz intern Jerkwater Berg has recently returned from an exclusive press-only announcement, made outside TopMan on Bold St, Liverpool, that confirmed acclaimed director Roberto Rodriguez is indeed to helm a second sequel to the previous second Predator 2 sequel, Predators – to be known as ‘The Predators 2’, to avoid confusion with the popular first sequel Predators 2 which starred Danny Glover and John Leguiziamo.

Contrary to unfounded rumours that have been circulating the net over recent months, Liam Neeson will not be returning to the franchise, apparently due to nervous studio execs being uncomfortable about his advancing age, and have brought in the box-office golden child Nicholas Cage (39) to add some much needed gravitas to the series.

Director Rodriguez (pictured here in full Predator costume) was tight lipped about the story line, but had this to say:

“I’m very glad to be returning to the series that made household names of Gary Busey, Ernie Hudson, and Jason Swayze. It’s been a dream of mine to see the story come full-circle, so without giving too much away, lets just say there will be time travel, and the door is definitely open for the original film’s star Jesse Venutura to come back into the fold.”

More news as we have it. That’s Quappchatz!

Here at Quappchatttxxz we are happy to exclusively reveal the news that has got the internet buzzing for the past few weeks – exactly what are Paramount announcing at Comic Con on 20th July with regards to the Predator franchise.

Our man inside has let it slip that rising star Liam Neeson, best known for his action-hero roles in thrillers such as Shindlers List, Nell and Love Actually, has been signed on as the lead in the new inner-city set Predator movie.

Out tipster has told us that the studio are planning a sequel to the original Predator movie staring Arnold Schwarzenegger, rather than a follow up to Robert Rodrigues’s 2008 re-boot of the franchise, but following a plot that disregards that of Predator 2.

“I’m not sure why the studio has chosen to ignore what is commonly held to be the best film in the series, but for better or worse that’s the path that they have set out on, and going to stick to it. They’re asking those involved to think of it in the same way that Godfather 3 is a direct sequel to the original Godfather, which disregards everything from the weak link in the series – Godfather 2. Let’s just say it’s characters that exist in the same universe as Predator 2, but perhaps in an alternate timeline, which exists both before AND after the Danny Glover hit from 1986 – so almost a sequel that is wrapped around the original Predator 2, but not inside it.”

There’s no official word yet on who will helm the movie, although big hitters such as Brett Ratner and McG are thought to be itching at the hip to get involved – especially with them both being hot off the back of successful franchise relaunches (Silence of the Lambs 4 and Terminator 3 respectively).

Our man in the know has also hinted that Joe Pesci is being lined up for a supporting role, but we’ve so far been unable to corroborate these reports. More news as we have it, but for now, that’s Quapppxtatz.

Some days you’d be forgiven for thinking that we were the last true supporters of Predater 2, as many reviews and websites are labouring under the misaprehension that it’s some kind of ‘inferior sequel’ or just a ‘pale knock off of the original, filmed only to make money, and lacking any of the charm, pace, characterisation, and atmosphere of the orignial’.

Well they’re dead wrong.

We know it, but so does Time Out magazine, who are encouraging the haters to cut Predertor 2 some slack in their online article ‘Lay off Prederter 2’. Check it out now!

http://www.timeout.com/film/features/show-feature/10289/Lay_off-Predator_2-.html

 

We came across this review of Predator 2 on the ‘Old Game Reviewer’ site where web-logger J P Roscoe gets it all off his chest in his in-depth breakdown of the movie.

No stone is left unturned in what is one of the most comprehensive deconstructions of the movie that we’ve ever read – and here at Quapptchatzzdrs we pride ourselves on knowing what’s-what and who’s-where when it comes to Predators 2 reviews.

So follow the link for such thought provoking insights as “I wish the series had gone completely different with a woman or a street smart character as the predator’s prey”.

Enjoy…

http://oldgamereviewer.com/2012/06/26/predator-2-1990-review/

 

In an open letter to Tim Burton, Quappchattttzzsss staff writer ‘Jerkwater Berg’ pleads with the once awesome director to pack-up-and-shit-off after seeing the trailer for his upcoming move Dark Shadows. Trailer after the fold…

Dear Mr Bruton,
 
Re: Time Bruton’s ‘Dark Shadows’
 
I’m sorry Time, but enough’s enough. The more I think about this, the more irritated I am. I feel I have reached an apotheosis of mild irritation and I need to lance this particular pustule and release it’s milky-stink by way of a good scratch. Hence this letter to you. First off, may I just say how much I enjoyed your earlier pictures, which exhibited an individualistic flair and original insights into the role of the outsider in society within a wonderfully stylised milieu concocted from your own nostalgic colouring book. Thank you for the many years of decent entertainment, I will look back on those times with fondness. That time is now at an end. Time you stopped now Time.
 
I have recently watched your new trailer for your upcoming new movie, (which you appear to have farted out); ‘Dark Shadows’. It appears you and I have come to something of an impasse. Firstly off, my main issue is how tired I feel by this whole endeavour, (and I didn’t have to endure the months working on its hackneyed construction). I simply cannot quite get over how unsurprising it all is Time; from Mr Jepp’s acting-by-numbers amalgamation of all his previous performances from the last 25 years into this new and never-more bland creation; to the look; which was once a reason in itself to go and see ‘A Time Bruton Film’ at the cinema; that same look which has become so passe of late that my eyes fail to find purchase, and flap about uselessly against the perspex wall of corporate anonymity, behind which, you, Mr Bruton, dick about with your inane light and picture shows. I now laugh as you look.
 
Fusing your faux-‘morbid sensibilities'[tm] with 50’s kitsch probably always sounds like a great idea around the development table – with eager executives urging you, their shambolic, droopy-faced champion, the bedraggled underdog turned Crufts Masterchef; Time ‘Mumbles’ Bruton, to reprise all the loveable quirk that has proven time-and-time-and-time-and-time-again, Time,  to make ever-more piles of ever-more whimsical piles of money (receding into curlature at their extreme no doubt). I can imagine you sitting in the anonymous L.A. air-conditioned meeting room with your expensive bottled water, breathing through your mouth as your nose chronically runs, doodling the same obsessive scrawl of yourself as you dolefully sit, much like [insert any Jepp character in a Time Bruton flim from the last 25 years] at the head of said table, the over-enthusiastic development headadges appearing much like the extended family [of imagined character] clamouring expectantly for a sign of adorable inarticulature. I can see how easily you may be misunderstood and be misunderstood, and how easy it may be to understandably sell out, I empathise, I do, I really do. In the same situation, I would probably do the same thing. But please, for the love of all things holy: Stop. Making. Films. Time.
 
In conclusion, ‘Dark Shadows’ looks shit. I haven’t seen a Time Bruton flim for some years now, and this will be no exception, only growing to my pile of unwatchable drossageature. I have barely tolerated you for long enough, your stubborn insistence on a continued existence within the entertainment-o-sphere is now beyond inexplicable.
 
I hope you will take my suggestions in the spirit in which they are written, and well-and-truly fuck off now.
 
Yours Truly,
 
Jerkwater Berg

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(ouch! – Ed.)

So lets look at the numbers …

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Looking at the total number of dollars taken, Predator 2 is the lowest grossing film of the franchise.

But wait! When we look at the same figures adjusted for inflation, its actually the THIRD HIGHEST grossing! Not bad for back in 1990 when advertising was limited to newspapers/TV/theatres – no world wide internet or Myspace!

Also – its worth checking out the number of theatres P2 opened in compared with the AVPs and Predators – its less right! If you do a ‘gross by theatres’ calculation – I imagine that would show some surprising results (I have not done that for you here as I’m going to bed).

Thanks to:

http://boxofficemojo.com/

Self confessed Predator 2 addict has just proved himself the north west’s no1 Predator 2 fan, but completing Liverpool’s half marathon – dressed as an Predator. Now that’s commitment!